Gaining traction with the Month of Finances has been tricky. I had my own ideas about what I would be doing (i.e. tracking all expenditures) and while I had some good ideas, and will still implement them I had to eventually admit that I was clueless.
Finances is such a broad and deeply complex and emotional topic for me. I simply couldn't continue to pretend like I had any idea what I was doing. In fact, I had to admit that I was dreading this particular major life area. But...
Even though I kept thinking, like: why couldn't I just be a normal human being and a polite girl and continue brushing this topic under the rug, ignoring my hangups, complete lack of savings, general state of broke-ness, mistakes, debts (my Gosh, the debts!) and points of ignorance? Why Ayo, whyyyyyy? Because, I'm a badass, that's why! I realized something about this whole thing. It's as much a mental game (maybe more) than anything else. Nothing challenges me more than money to KNOW God as my Source, Substance and Supplier. Nothing challenges me more to look at myself and my shit, in an effort to autocorrect and try try again.
Now, I am happy with where I am, because as Spirit would have it, I've been reminded yet again of what's possible for me and what my actual desires and definitions are. Obvi the debts will be handled and the money will be increased - but more than anything, I will be peaceful, love deeply and expansively, I will serve and contribute, I will continue enjoying my life and I will win. Period.