I used to think the worst thing was an emotional, feminine man - enough to make me literally feel sick to my stomach - unless of course he was already out of the closet, in which case, I'd be all "yaaassssss boo, slayyyy, honeyyy." But, a man I was dating with his panties all in a bunch - Jesus, please NO! I wasn't with it, although I've learned not to call a male out on this - it makes them cry.
Meanwhile, I be thinking: "Oooooh, why you so sensitive?"
So, yeah, that feminine shit from a man, no good - but I discovered something that's worse. That's a man who is dishonorable, and particularly unworthy of trust. Said in a direct way, the type of man I'm speaking of, in this instance, is a man whose WORD is meaningless.
A man whose word you cannot trust is a BAD DOG!
You know the type of man I'm talking about? NOTHING he says means anything. He is a liar. Even as I type these words, it is difficult to believe that such a creature exists - a man who speaks words - stamps those words with a seal of "promise" and then just doesn't follow through on them, or worse does something much like it's opposite. For a full 24 hours, I thought it couldn't get worse than this...but, I had a flash of insight and realized that even a man with a snake for a tongue isn't the worst thing.
The WORST thing is the desire in a woman or a man to continue to believe that bold-faced liar. (Of course he's going to keep lying - we're making it easy, hell, doing half of his work for him by believing the filth that proceeds out of his mouth.) That desire is the twin snake that lives burrowed deeply somewhere inside of US.
Aww fiddle-dee-dee, the plot MF thickens, AGAIN!
Now, I know it sounds like I'm blaming you for this man (or woman) being a demon, but I'm not. What I'm doing is reallocating all the power back to you, by placing the responsibility of this situation back in your hands. (Smile)
And, that's some boring shit, I know, I hate it, too! Why can't Ayo just cut the shit, wave her majik fucking wand and make your lover an honorable, righteous and ideal human being, already? Who wants to hear all this psychobabble about how to take responsibility about what one believes and accepts! Who has time? (No one! All right? That's who).
Well, my love, I assure you that if my wand was not currently undergoing maintenance I'd be all over that little wish of yours with fairy dust and glistening bubbles, on top. But alas, all we have today is some plain, hard and fast Spirit and wisdom to bolster us up, heal our hearts and make us see the world with the bright eyes of fresh possibility again!
Here's the thing about the entire situation that we simply must come to grips with. The whole damn thing is a miserable ass nightmare - it's like you're trapped in a haunted house with a bunch of scary shit inside and outside, suspended in a state of dread. Yet, as with any dream, you have complete control over when the dream ends. Coming to grips with the fact that something in you wants to believe this person is honest or changed is like suddenly realizing that you are dreaming.
Deciding to cut this bad seed out of your life, is deciding to WAKE UP.
But, that's quite enough of that. Here's the cure all: Stop lying to yourself, and you become immediately impossible to deceive. You won't attract those bad dogs to yourself anymore.